Snippets of an average day, as perceived by my 4-year-old daughter:
Oh! The sun is up! Time to get out of my bed!
I want to watch “My Little Pony.” Mom is still sleeping. I need to wake her up.
Can I watch “My Little Pony?” Please? Please!
Whoops, I woke up the baby. Well, I’m pretty sure he wants to watch “My Little Pony,” too.
I’d like some breakfast, but probably not anything Mom is going to fix for me. Whoa! I was SO RIGHT. I hate this plate of cheesy eggs, seriously, WHAT WAS SHE THINKING? She knows I want cereal!
Gross, I hate cereal, get this out of here. I want grits!
Never mind. I’m not eating.
What about “My Little Pony?” Can I watch it, or what?
I need to go to the bathroom. Maybe if I run around in circles, it will go away.
LEAVE ME ALONE! I don’t need to go to the bathroom! I want to watch “My Little Pony”!
I should probably run a few laps around the living room now because MAN, I really need to go potty.
I told you, already! I don’t need to go potty, can I just watch “My Little Pony?”
Whoops, I just peed my pants. But only a little.
I can’t believe she’s giving me a hard time about wetting my pants, I mean, I’ve been telling her ALL MORNING I want to watch “My Little Pony,” and nothing. What does she expect?
I hate having my hair brushed DEAR LORD I CANNOT HANDLE THIS PAIN.
Time for school! I want to sit in my brother’s car seat. I want to sit in my brother’s car seat!
Fine, I’ll sit in mine. Look! An old French fry! I’m going to eat it.
What is this song we’re listening to? I hate it. I want the lullabye song.
I want the lullabye song again!
I want the lullabye song again!
Hey, we’re in car line. There’s my teacher. She’s so awesome, I never whine at her.
Several hours later…
I just want to watch one episode of “My Little Pony,” JUST ONE. Please oh please oh please oh please.
Wait, not that one. I want the other one.
No, the other one!
Can I please watch another episode of “My Little Pony?” Just one. Just one! Please? PLEASE!
OH MY GOSH ALL I WANT IN THIS WORLD IS TO WATCH AS MUCH “MY LITTLE PONY” AS I WANT, WHY WON’T YOU LET ME???
My mom never lets me do anything. I hate my life.
I’m going to shove my little brother.
Why is everyone so mean to me?
I can’t believe I have to sit here in time out, this is the worst day of my whole life.
Macaroni and cheese for dinner! My favorite!
I’m going to eat four bites and then run into the other room.
Whoa, who drew all over my play kitchen? Oh, wait, I did.
Look! Mom has a plate of food and is sitting down! I want more milk.
I’m going to hide so I won’t have to take a bath.
Awesome! It worked.
I don’t want those pajamas, I want the other pajamas.
No, the other pajamas.
The pony pajamas.
I can’t go to bed, I’m hungry. I didn’t eat enough dinner.
My stomach hurts! I’m hungry!
I’m starving, and she doesn’t even care.
How long are they going to leave me in here, crying for food? Nobody cares about me. I am grief-stricken.
I want a glass of water!
Is this new water or old water? You know I don’t like the old stuff.
More crying. Nobody cares. I’m so alone in the world.
I want my blanket! I can’t find my blanket!
Oh! Look! Here’s my blanket. Right next to my head. Crazy.
I want different pajamas! These are too hot!
I want short pants!
Cover me with a blanket! How am I supposed to sleep in these short pants if you don’t cover me with a blanket?
My water is too far away from my bed. I can’t reach it.
Somebody help me reach my water!
I am so sad because I can’t reach my water.
Oops! I spilled my water.
Maybe they’ll let me watch more “My Little Pony” tomorrow….
(Betsy Swenson is a stay-at-home mother to three and contributing writer to the Slidell Independent. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.)